Everything We Had

Past.

Maybe none of us are really who we thought we were.

Falling in love too easily?
I guess it's just one of those things...or maybe not.
Five minutes with a person,
and looking ahead to what the future might hold?
Five minutes...what about 5 years?

Feelings over logic?
I guess it's good we're over that.

Yes, it's true...too serious too quickly.
I suppose it's nice to know you will ALWAYS
be more emotionally involved than the other person.
But when things should slow down,
it seems you actually ARE the one who can do that.

Logic.
Mighty casual, don't you think?
Maybe it's a curse.

12.20.07

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Forgive me for my confusion,
but this doesn't make any sense.

I am a huge contradiction.
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What good is a love song for someone you did not love?
Maybe all that matters is that they did love you.

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So, I will cry out all my emotions...till logic makes sense.

Lonely Soul

Do you know where your heart is
Do you think you can find it
Did you trade it for something, somewhere
Better just to have it
Do you know where your love is
Do you think that you lost it
You felt it so strong but nothings
Turned out how you want it
Well bless my soul
You`re a lonely soul
Cause you wont let go
Of anything you hold

Well all I need is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head
Do you know what your fate is
And are you trying to shake it
You`re doing your best and
You`re best look
You`re praying that you`ll make it
Well bless my soul
You`re a lonely soul
Cause you wont let go
Of anything you hold

Say All I Need. One Republic.

Hardest Thing.

This might be the hardest thing I've ever tried to understand.

I don't know how I can be hurting this much.

Absolute Truth

I know all the Bible stories. I know everything about Ellen White. I know all of what the Bible says about a loving God. I KNOW, okay?! But do I believe? Can I say that I KNOW God exists? What happened to the definition of faith/belief that didn't have to be proven? I thought faith was belief without proof? We've been learning about Post-Modernism in Bible Class and the idea of NO ABSOLUTE TRUTH. Sometimes that's how I feel. But I do understand that Post-Modernism has a thousand hang-ups...like how can you say that the only absolute truth is that there is no absolute truth? But still, that doesn't help me. So, now I know there IS absolute truth, but what is that truth? It all still seems to lead to more questions. I know a heck of a lot about Christianity. And I'm a Christian right? SDA...all the way, right? So, that's what my baptismal certificate says. That's what my pastor will tell you. That's what my parents will tell you. That's what my friends will tell you. But what is my religion without any faith? What is religion with only knowledge? Answer: Religion is crap.
So, I have some questions. These aren't questions about what a good SDA should be like or how to be saved or who will be in heaven or what day I should worship on or w/e. I want answers to the questions that someone who has never heard about a God would ask. You wouldn't preach at a person with no understanding of a God. So first we look at the definition of God: the one Supreme Being, the creator and ruler of the universe. So, what we have here is the knowledge of WHO God is. But how do you prove that he IS... (that he exists). From my knowledge I know what the Bible says. Exodus 3:14…God says to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. Tell the People of Israel, 'I AM sent me to you.'" God said: I AM. The only "proof" I have is that God says HE IS. I suppose for me it is impossible not to believe in a supreme being…it’s my only hope that SOMEONE knows.
I think one problem is that no one ever taught me how to believe in God. They just taught me how to be a good worshipper of God. How dumb is it to act as the perfect believer without belief. I don't know how to believe.
When I ask a question about God and Christianity I'd rather have an answer of "I don't know" than a spiel on who God is. I KNOW who God is. (example: just last Saturday I asked my dad how I can know that Ellen White was actually inspired by God and not a fraud. He went on to “answer” by reading to me who she was…that REALLY didn’t answer my question at all…I already KNOW who she is…duh)
Can you prove or KNOW there is a God with no belief? Can you know there is a God without being a believer in God? Our speaker today said YES. From there on he lost me. What is the difference between KNOWING and BELIEVING? Between KNOWING and having FAITH?

To know: to perceive or understand as fact or truth

To believe: to have confidence or faith in the truth of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so

FAITH: confidence or belief in something that is not based on proof.

(side-note: the definition of PROOF: evidence sufficient to establish a thing as true)

It seems to me that I could conclude that both FAITH and BELIEF exclude proof(knowledge) of the truth.

So, by definition, “to know" is to understand as truth and “to believe/to have faith" is confidence in truth(without proof). So, it seems that you cannot believe in something that you know, because belief is confidence in a truth you do not understand and you must understand something to know it.
So, I suppose Post-Modernists cannot believe or know anything. Well, I certainly reject that idea. I cannot live without belief that there is truth to know. And I suppose that since no one here on earth seems to know the full truth, then I have no choice but to believe in an all-knowing God. Now my question is, does God believe? If He KNOWS everything what does He need to BELIEVE for (if belief is all about confidence in something you cannot prove." I am certain that God can prove ANYTHING. He just can't explain it all to us now because we wouldn't be able to understand. So therefore it seems our only choice is to believe in SOMETHING, because knowing EVERYTHING is not something we are capable of as humans.

So, now it seems to me that I DO have enough faith to believe an all-knowing God exists. But when it comes to getting to know him my only source is the Bible. And it takes SO MUCH more faith for me to believe in every word of the Bible. Where is my proof that it is true? I seem to have no way of getting in contact with this all-knowing God that I want to trust. If he is my only source of truth how do I ask him about the Bible? So in the end it seems it can be easier for ME to believe in the invisible than believe in something visible. There is hardly proof that God exists and there is no proof that he is truth. Although there IS obvious proof that the Bible exists, there is no proof that the Bible is truth.

But, in conclusion, I would have to say that the Christian/Biblical view-point of this all-knowing God I want to understand seems the best to me. Post-Modernism seems too hopeless. I cannot accept that there is no truth, that we know nothing, and that there is no God that knows all things. I would rather believe in the God of the Bible. I think I could fall in love with Jesus, and that’s a good thing considering Jesus is THE WAY to truth—he is the way to my all-knowing God. John quotes Jesus in John 14:6…Jesus says, "I am the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE! No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him." So, there’s my absolute truth. Jesus is my absolute truth.

Here starts the relationship, for real.

To See Me

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand